Trouble with a Side of Turkey Burritos

by Bruce Grimes

There were these two guys, Fred and Tommy, who went to a hotel and got a lottery ticket. They won a big jackpot! And then Fred and Tommy went to the casino, and then to Florida after they won $1,000.

They bought an old building in Florida and made it into a Taco John’s restaurant. They served turkey burritos made from their own special recipe. People did not like the turkey burritos. They tasted like horse poop. People wanted their money back. Fred and Tommy did not give them their money back.

Instead, they flew back to Minnesota and got in trouble for buying the restaurant. They got in trouble with the corporate team of Taco John’s, including the Big Boss of Taco John’s, because they wouldn’t give the money back to the customers. 

They said, “Forget about it!” and went back to the casino . . . and lost the money they made selling turkey burritos.

Meanwhile, the customers called the police in Florida. Fred and Tommy got in trouble and went to jail for 30 days. They had to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches while they were in jail. The Big Boss from Taco John’s visited them in jail and told them, “You’re fired!”

Fred and Tommy said, “We don’t care!” They bought another lottery ticket when they got out of jail and went back to Florida. The angry customers were waiting for them in Florida, and so were the people who sold them the deed to the building. Fred and Tommy said to each other, “Now what do we do?”

They ran into a casino and the people with the deed were chasing them. Fred and Tommy put a $20 bill on a horse race betting machine. They won $1,000 and used it to open a Taco Bell restaurant. Then they got in trouble again. This time they were serving pizza pies that tasted like mini donuts. That caught customers by surprise. The customers were happy and mad at the same time. Tommy and Fred decided to give customers their money back this time.

They went to Texas and bought an automobile repair place there. They got in trouble again! This time, they did not give any money back when they couldn’t fix people’s cars and people had to buy new cars from a different place. This time, they were in trouble with the Texas police. They said, “What do we do now? We’re in trouble again!” They had to sit in court and people were asking them questions. “How come you keep getting in trouble?” they asked. Fred and Tommy answered, “We have a disability and we can’t help ourselves.” But what they really had was a bad attitude. At the end of the court session, they had to go to prison for 30 days. It was peanut butter and jelly sandwiches all over again for them.
​
But at least it wasn’t turkey burritos.