by Bruce Grimes

Two groovy astronauts, Freddy and Christmas Tree, went into space. They went to the moon. It collapsed when they shot a laser gun by accident. “Oops,” they said. They returned to Earth to do some Space X training on how to handle laser guns.
 
After they finished their training, they went on a mission to Mars to fix up an old robot that was broken down, at an old space station.

It took 3 months to get to Mars. Along the way, they ate frozen pizza from the luggage in their space capsule. They also ate some pumpkin pie, which was frozen like ice cream. 

They transported a chimpanzee along with them, to live on Mars and fix things there when they broke down. The chimpanzee was 20 years old; it had learned from humans how to become a mechanic. The chimp, Rudolph, was a very fast learner.

Rudolph got sick when they landed on Mars. He had eaten too much human food. The astronauts quickly took him to the space station near where they landed. There were robot doctors at the space station. They told the astronauts to leave the chimpanzee there. The astronauts tried to radio to their big bosses on Earth, but they couldn’t get through. So they had to stay on Mars with Rudolph until he got better. 

They brought Rudolph back to Earth. He had gotten very sick from eating all that human food. There was monkey food on Mars, but it was all medicine. Rudolph wouldn’t do very well if he stayed on Mars. He could barely move his hands. 

When they got back to Earth, Freddy and Christmas Tree brought Rudolph to the Minnesota Zoo where he could have a good diet of monkey food and get better. At the zoo, he was with other chimpanzees who also knew how to fix mechanical things. 

Meanwhile, the president sent Freddy and Christmas Tree back to space. “Go back, and fix the robots,” he said. “You guys should be fired for feeding a chimp pizza and pumpkin pie.” 

And so they did. Rudolph waved goodbye when the spaceship flew over the zoo.

Enjoy this Discover Magazine story about NASA’s history of chimpanzees in space

by Bruce Grimes

Tanya and Luke were going up North to their cabin when they got stuck in a rainstorm, and also got a flat tire. They had to call for help, but their cell phone was out of range. They couldn’t reach anyone to help them. Finally, they flagged someone down. It was a tow truck driver. What a stroke of luck for them!

He fixed the flat tire. It took 2 or 3 hours. Tanya and Luke were getting really hungry . . . for turkey! They had been thinking about it all day. Their friend Bruce the award-winning chef was already at their cabin cooking a Thanksgiving feast. Bruce was as good a chef as Gordon Ramsay, but he was a much nicer guy than that hot-tempered celebrity chef. Bruce was so nice he often gave his friends $100 bills. 

When the flat tire was fixed, Tanya and Luke invited the tow truck driver to their cabin for Thanksgiving dinner. The driver, Randy, said yes. He had a really big live turkey in his truck. He chopped off its head so they could have a bigger turkey to eat. They cooked two turkeys at the cabin up North. They cooked one over the fire in the fireplace while Bruce was cooking the other one in the oven.

While the turkeys were cooking, their neighbor and friend Audrey knocked at the door and brought in a bunch of pumpkin pies and banana cream pies.  

Tanya and Luke said, “Thank you so much!” 

Audrey said, “You’re welcome! Can I stay for dinner?” 

After they all ate together, they watched “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving” movie together. They watched the Macy’s Day Parade. Everyone fell asleep on a cozy futon and had a dream about traveling to California all together in Randy’s tow truck with a flock of wild turkeys roosting on the back of the truck. 
​
Gobble gobble!

by Bruce Grimes

There were two thieves named Frankenstein and Keith Urban. They stole a bunch of computers from a market where Bruce was selling repurposed computers that don’t cost very much money. 

They threw Bruce’s computers in the dumpster. They wanted to tie Bruce up and hold him for ransom. Bruce yelled, “Help! I’ve been stolen!”

Frankenstein and Keith Urban said, “You be quiet. We’re going to make you go through a drive thru with us while we steal money.”

Bruce felt very upset and mad to be taken on such a bad kind of adventure. “You better let me go, or I will tell the police!” Bruce said.

Then they said to each other, “We better let him go.” 

So they took Bruce to Belvedere Castle in Central Park, in the middle of New York City. They let him go after staying with Bruce all night in the castle. 

In the morning, a military man marched right up to the castle and said, “You’re coming with me, Bruce to help me give out MREs for Christmas presents.” The meals were for people across the country whose houses were damaged when a hurricane came through.

Frankenstein and Keith Urban snuck out of the castle and went back home. The military man, Adam, told Bruce, “We could really use an old-time wheelchair to deliver these meals. Shall we make one together?”

They looked around Belvedere Castle to find materials to make a wheelchair with an old belt motor. 

Bruce had gone to school to learn how to fix cars. He was especially good at changing oil and fixing tires. He knew what he and Adam needed to be able to build a belt-motor wheelchair. They looked around the castle for only 15 minutes before they found everything they needed to build the chair. It worked pretty well, for the most part. 

They started out on the journey to the closest military base. Suddenly, the chair broken down. The motor fell down to the ground and exploded! Fortunately, no one was hurt. But now, Bruce and Adam had to find a horse to pull the wheelchair. There were lots of horse-drawn carriages in Central Park, so they borrowed a horse from one of the carriage drivers. 

They delivered all the meals and returned to Adam’s military base. Bruce was given a Blue Heart Medal for delivering all the meals. Adam got one too. They became close friends. They sometimes met up at Belvedere Castle for a fun afternoon together and a carriage ride.