A Magic Battleship Takes a Final Voyage

by Bruce Grimes

Brad and Bruce were the captain and mechanic of the battleship U.S. Navy One. They just met for the first time on their first trip together on this ship. They both had come from across the sea. 

The ship was leaving for Antarctica. The plan was to sink the battleship to the bottom of the sea to create an artificial reef where fish can live, especially jellyfish.

The ship was being pulled by big tugboats. Brad and Bruce and the crew were taking pipes off the ship to get it ready to sink it. It was heavy work. They got tired, and thirsty.  

Brad and Bruce decided to take a break and have a cup of tea. They would snack on some MREs during their break.

They put the ship on autopilot and left the tugboats guiding the ship in charge. They left the bridge of the battleship and went to the dining room where it was cozy and warm. 

“We’re sleepy, but it’s not bedtime yet for us,” Brad and Bruce said. “Let’s have a cup of tea, or coffee.”

“Cold cinnamon tea is usually my favorite,” said Bruce, “but it’s too chilly for that today. I want a steaming hot cup of tea.” Brad fixed it for him while Bruce kept taking pipes off the ship. Brad put chives in the tea for a spicy flavor. 

Brad made himself a cup of coffee. He put Fireball in it – a hot cinnamon liquor. Yow! He screamed, “Ah! Why did I put that in there? That’s so strong.” He drank it down anyway.

They thought they were drinking caffeinated tea and coffee, but it turns out they were decaffeinated drinks. Brad and Bruce kept yawning and yawning. Before long, they were both asleep.

They dreamed about the ship. They were almost halfway around the world by now. By the time they woke up, the tugboats had taken the battleship all the way to Antarctica. 

When they arrived, the people there said, “Hey, we don’t want that ship in our sea!” So Brad and Bruce took the ship to the Bahamas instead.
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And this time, they made sure the coffee and tea was caffeinated. ​